Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
