i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
