this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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