Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
