Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
