You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Congratulations! We have a period
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