u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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