my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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