After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
