i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
