Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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