sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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