He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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