I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
worst night to have a conscience
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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