How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
