hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
