...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
