Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
