I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
