I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
