Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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