I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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