Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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