she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
