Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
