windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
handjob tips. give me some.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
