You really coming over, don't trick.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
