Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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