She is in my trunk
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
