Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
