Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
