so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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