woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
