Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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