Me too!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
