I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
