party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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