dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
