So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
