I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
