I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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