I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
