You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
