Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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