I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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