i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
