I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
