I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
