She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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