escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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