woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
