You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
